The Digital Detox: A Post-Mortem

· I didn’t stop using my phone. I stopped letting it use me.

My week-long experiment turned out to be less of a detox and more of a technological awakening.

So—how did I really do?

I thought I would ask Emi to help me sort this out. After all, she was there, watching me go through it. She was happy to participate, so here are her questions—and my answers.

Why did you decide to do a digital detox?

I thought that while being away, it was a good opportunity to distance myself from the daily noise—news, alerts, constant updates—and to be fully present with what was around me.

Was this your idea alone, or were you pushed into it?

It was my idea. But honestly, a few people close to me had mentioned—gently—that I was on my phone a lot.

What was your first reaction once your phone was out of reach?

On the first day, I felt lost. As if a piece of my life was missing. I was fidgety. My mind kept searching for something I couldn’t quite name.

Did it feel like relief… or anxiety?

Neither. Or perhaps both.

Slowly, I started to enjoy my time with nature—and with us—more deeply. Also, there is no real comparison between a glowing screen and a real page. Add the sound of the ocean and a light breeze, and the difference becomes obvious.

A screen absorbs your thoughts.
A book sets them free.

On a normal day, what did you mostly use your phone for?
News? Social media? Photos? Messages? Distraction?

Roughly a third of my usage is for information—news, research, books. The rest is split between social apps, GPS, and productivity tools. I don’t play games and rarely use Facebook. Instagram gets a few minutes a day.

Which functions did you miss the most?

What I missed most was writing to friends and family—and hearing back from them. Reading news from La Presse from Montreal and Il Messaggero from Rome. I’m also a big fan of Substack, and I missed that connection.

And which ones could you easily live without?

Some social apps, like Facebook and LinkedIn.

Did it feel strange—not being reachable?

Yes. That was the biggest drawback. I had a persistent feeling of missing something. Of being out of reach.

Did other people miss you—or was that mostly your fear?

Most friends and family knew I was offline. They follow my newsletter and were aware of the experiment. My real concern was emergencies involving my sons—especially since I didn’t carry my phone to the beach or to restaurants.

On the last day, to calm my restless mind, I wrote to my dear friend Jim. He replied politely: What are you doing on your phone?

Thank you, Jim.

Do you think it’s possible—or even desirable—to return to a pre-smartphone way of living?

Our generation witnessed the birth of this technology. We are privileged to have experienced both the before and the after.

We wouldn’t ask people in the early 20th century to give up their telephone. Going back isn’t possible—and not desirable. What we have is extraordinary. Used well, it’s a remarkable evolution.

When we talk about “detox,” it usually implies intoxication.
Did you feel addicted?

Before starting, I didn’t think so.

But during the week, I noticed myself reaching for a phone that wasn’t there—without any reason. Just to fill space. To keep my mind busy. That’s when I realized there was a dependency. Even when I had nothing to check, I felt the magnetic pull. Without the device in my hand, I felt oddly unmoored.

So was this really a detox—or something else?

I called it a detox, but it was really an awareness exercise.

After four days, I had my answer.

My goal isn’t total abstinence—it’s eliminating the obsession. I want to let my mind wander again. I aim to cut my screen time by at least two hours a day. Here’s the strategy:

• No phones at the table. Meals are for food and conversation.

• Out of sight, out of mind. The phone stays in another room when I’m relaxing or with people.

• The bedroom sanctuary. No screens past the door.

Would you recommend this experience to others?

Only if you feel you don’t fully control your usage. It’s peaceful to be truly present—and revealing to understand where you really stand with technology.

Would you do it again?

Not only would I—I will. I’m the kind of person who needs it.

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Thank you, Emi. Now let me ask you a question: how was it for you, with me not on the phone?

Emi: I felt you closer and more present. But, funny enough, at times I wondered where your mind was—and you know me, I asked. Strangely, when you’re on your phone, I don’t ask myself that question.

Till next time.
A presto.

Tino