When in Rome…..

Can You Spot the Faux Pas?

Have you ever been to Italy? If so, did you notice anything about the culture or mannerisms in restaurants or bars that left you intrigued—or maybe even baffled?

This week's newsletter features a fictional story of David, a 28-year-old from Chicago, visiting Italy for the first time. As a newcomer, he tried his best to blend in, but along the way, he made a few choices that clashed with Italian norms. Can you spot the moments where David’s behaviour didn’t align with local customs? Read on carefully—how many faux pas or cultural differences can you find?

David's Italian Adventure (Fictional)

The cobblestones of Piazza Navona gleamed under the morning sun as David stepped into a café. The scent of espresso and freshly baked cornetti filled the air. Approaching the counter, he smiled at the barista.

“A latte to go, please,” he said, pointing to the bustling street outside.

The barista hesitated before nodding. David took his cup, thrilled at the idea of sipping his coffee while exploring the nearby sights.

David was meeting an old friend at noon, Alessandro, who he met years ago in Chicago and had since returned to his native city of Rome. He checked his watch. 11:50 —perfect timing, he thought. Adjusting his sunglasses, he scanned the street. Alessandro arrived a breezy 25 minutes later, arms wide open.

“Ciao, David!” Alessandro exclaimed, pulling him into a hug and planting kisses on both cheeks as he led David to the table with his arm draped around his shoulder.

David stiffened slightly, offering an awkward chuckle. “Good to see you too, man,” he said, taking a step back.

Inside the trattoria, David flipped through the menu with enthusiasm. “Everything looks so good,” he said, finally settling on a margherita pizza. When it arrived, he gestured to the waiter.

“Could I get some ranch dressing on the side?”

The waiter froze, glancing at Alessandro.

Dessert followed—tiramisu for David, who eagerly signaled the waiter again. “I’ll have a cappuccino, please,” he said, ignoring Alessandro’s raised eyebrow.

As the meal wound down, David reached for his wallet. “Separate checks, please,” he said, handing over a credit card. Alessandro leaned closer, whispering something that made David nod in realization.

Before leaving, David placed a crisp 20-euro note on the table. “Great service,” he said. Alessandro gave him a long look but said nothing.

Then David pulled out his phone. “This afternoon, I’ve got it all planned—2:00 at the Colosseum, 3:15 at the Pantheon, and 4:30 at the Vatican. You’re good for dinner tonight, right?”

“Ma sicuro! (Of course!),” Alessandro replied. “How is six o’clock? “Hmmm David,” six o’clock is when I usually have a mid-afternoon snack.”

That evening, David arrived at the restaurant in cargo shorts, a T-shirt, and running shoes. He waved at Alessandro who clad in a linen blazer, leaned in and whispered, “Ah, you’re embracing American chic, eh?”

“Ready to dive into some real Italian food” David grinned as he sat down.

When the spaghetti alle vongole arrived, David asked the waiter for some parmigiano cheese, then grabbed his knife and fork, cutting the noodles into manageable bites.

“Oh, can I get some butter for the bread?” he called out to the waiter, who blinked before nodding politely.

David was ready to call it a day but Alessandro kept reminiscing about the good old days back in Chicago, and where their lives are taking them and so on. He insisted on ordering some digestives, obviously he could have stayed there all night. Finally as they got up and left the restaurant they promised to be in touch more often and as Alessandro hugged David goodbye he said: I will text you some pointers so you can pass like a true Italian while you are here. Don’t take it bad, and you can just delete them if you want.

What do you think Alessandro suggested?

How many faux pas can you identify? Give it a whirl before reading on!

Here are Alessandro’s suggestions:

• Don’t Drink Coffee While Walking

Italians often drink their coffee quickly while standing at the bar, rather than sitting down. This is a fast, social ritual, contrasting with the North-American tendency to take coffee to go or linger over it.

• Punctuality Flexibility

While punctuality is valued for formal events, everyday social situations in Italy tend to have a more relaxed approach to time. Being fashionably late (within reason) is often acceptable, whereas in North-America, tardiness might be considered rude.

• Personal Space and Greetings

Italians tend to stand closer to one another during conversations compared to North-Americans. This might feel invasive to someone not used to it. It's common to greet friends and acquaintances with a cheek kiss (typically two kisses, one on each cheek), even between men and women. For North-Americans, who might prefer a handshake or a wave, this level of physical affection can feel overly personal.

• No Condiments on Pizza

Adding condiments like ketchup or ranch dressing to pizza would be seen as a culinary faux pas. Italians take their pizza seriously, and altering it significantly is almost unthinkable.

• Avoid Ordering a Cappuccino After 11 AM

Italians believe that milk-based coffees, like cappuccinos or lattes, should only be consumed in the morning. Ordering one after a meal, especially after lunch or dinner, would be seen as odd. Instead, they prefer an espresso.

• Avoid Splitting the Bill Precisely

Italians usually split a bill evenly or take turns paying, rather than itemizing every detail. Insisting on precise calculations can feel awkward.

• No Tipping Culture

Unlike in Canada or the U.S., where tipping is customary and often expected, Italians typically do not tip heavily in restaurants. Service is usually included in the bill (coperto), and leaving just a small amount or rounding up is common. A large tip might even be confusing or seen as unnecessary.

• Avoid Over planning Your Day

Italians embrace spontaneity. Rushing from one tourist attraction to another can feel out of sync with the Italian pace of life.

• Don’t Expect to Eat Dinner Before 8:00 PM

Italians typically eat dinner much later than North-Americans, often around 8:00 PM or later. A 6:00 PM dinner would seem unusually early.

• Avoid Dressing Too Casually

Italians take pride in dressing well. Leave your flip-flops, gym clothes, or oversized sweatshirts for the beach or home.

• Dining Norms

Twirl your pasta with a fork, and never use a spoon or, worse, cut it into pieces—it’s a dead giveaway you’re not local. Never put cheese on a seafood pasta. Buttering bread is not common, but dipping bread in olive oil is.

• Don’t Rush Meals

Dining in Italy is a leisurely affair, often involving multiple courses and extended conversations. The idea of rushing through a meal or eating on the go is uncommon and might be seen as disrespectful to the culinary experience.

• Directness and Expressiveness

Italians can be more direct in their communication, especially when it comes to food and opinions. They may openly critique a dish or give their honest thoughts on a matter, which might come across as rude to a North-American who is used to more diplomatic exchanges.

• Passionate Conversations

Italians often speak with a lot of emotion and hand gestures. What might seem like an argument to a North-American is often just a lively conversation in Italy.

How did you do? Share your score and remarks.